


New Life

by killiandamnjones



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, daddy killian
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-04
Updated: 2015-06-04
Packaged: 2018-04-02 22:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4076245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killiandamnjones/pseuds/killiandamnjones
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Emma becomes pregnant again, Killian must deal with more than just a newborn baby. He struggles to understand this new life, and all the consequences that come with it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	New Life

**Author's Note:**

> I know people hate major character death warnings and avoid them like the plague, but I had this idea come to me and I couldn't shake it. I've had this written for a while but I was nervous to upload it. I hope you enjoy it!

“How’s my little lad doing in there?”

Emma smiled, looking down as she cradled her protruding stomach.

“He’s kicking up a storm.” She said, her voice slightly pained, before reaching for his hand. Killian stroked her palm, observing the glow in her cheeks the new life brought upon her.

“I never thought I’d be pregnant again.” Emma admitted lowly.

She had cried when she first found out, staring at the two blue lines in pure disbelief. She didn’t tell Killian for another two weeks, for fear of him running out on her. When she finally gained enough courage, all he had done was laugh. “I’ve known for weeks now, love. You’re not exactly a closed book.” They celebrated that night with cheesy rom-coms and ice cream.

“You’re going to be such an amazing mother,” Killian murmured, sweeping her hair out of her face. “I mean, not that you’re not already. You know, with Henry.” He stammered, face turning red.

Emma giggled, pushing him playfully. “I know what you mean,” she sighed. “Maybe I’m finally getting a second chance at-”

She gasped, clutching her stomach before screaming out in pain.

“Emma?” Killian wrapped his arms around her frame, demanding to know what was wrong. Emma panted, curling around her stomach as she focused on the agony shooting out from inside. She had never felt this kind of pain, even when she was pregnant with Henry.

Emma groaned again as another wave of pain hit her, followed by a particular wet feeling. Killian stroked her back, her hair, her arms, anything to offer her some kind of comfort. Suddenly, they both heard a dripping noise.

“What in the hell-” Killian started, looking at Emma questioningly.

“Killian,” Emma breathed. “I think it’s time.”

Emma met his eyes and they both smiled at each other, their hearts thumping unevenly as the anxiety set in.

“We can do this, Killian. I believe in us.” She said, cupping his face.

Killian smiled. “I love you, Emma. Let’s go have a baby.”

He took Emma by the hands, helping her stand up slowly. He glanced down and gasped in horror.

“Emma, you’re…you’re bleeding, love.” Killian said, panicking.

Emma stared at him confused before looking at the blood on the floor, staining her maternity gown. Another sharp pain sent her lurching forward, and Killian screamed out for help as they tumbled to the ground.

 

* * *

 

 

“Emma stay with me!” Killian shouted, squeezing her hand while running alongside the stretcher. Three nurses and Doctor Whale all had hands on the rails, yelling things to each other as they guided Emma into the hospital.

Emma squinted through the sweat and tears, trying to make sense of what was happening. Bright lights flickered by, something was stabbing her arm, and her uterus felt like it was burning a hole right through her stomach. Voices rose around her as her vision started to cloud again.

“We have to get him out now!”

“She needs to be stabilized first, she’ll bleed to death!”

“Do you want to lose this baby? Emergency c-section, stat!”

Emma groaned, “Please save my baby. Please.” She sobbed, holding on to Killian’s hand with all her might.

“Don’t worry, love, you’ll be fine.” Killian assured, trying to keep his voice steady as they ran towards the OR.

“Sir, you can’t come in here!” One of the nurses said, pushing Killian out of the way as they wheeled Emma to prep for surgery.

Killian’s hand was ripped from Emma’s grasp, and she let out a cry as he called after her. “I love you, Emma!”

Suddenly, Killian was completely alone, facing two double doors. He tried pushing them in, but they wouldn’t budge without a key card. He slumped against them, pulling his phone from his pocket and punching in the sheriff station’s number.

“Killian, I just heard an ambulance picked up Emma? What’s wrong?” David answered, the phone rustling as he pulled his jacket on.

“She…she might lost the baby, David.” Killian sobbed, finally allowing himself to break down. David was saying something on the phone, but Killian had already dropped it, slowly sliding against the door until he reached the ground. Emma. He might lose his Emma.

 

Not ten minutes later David and Mary Margaret were running in, pulling Killian up off the floor. They managed to get him to sit in a chair and barely coherently explain what had happened. Soon followed Regina and Robin, who offered the same sympathy. They all sat in the waiting room for hours, until it was time to pick up Henry and Roland from school and the couple excused themselves.

David left to get coffee for everyone, returning to Doctor Whale standing in the waiting room. He was wiping a tear and when he saw David, he just shook his head grimly. David froze, demanding to know what had happened.

“I am so sorry to have to give you this news. Unfortunately, we did not get the baby out soon enough for Emma to recover. She…passed away on the table.”

The rest of the words weren’t heard as Killian froze, his heart skipping a beat and he choked on his words. Tears sprung immediately to his eyes, blurring his vision as two coffee cups came crashing to the ground. Mary Margaret collapsed into David’s arms, the two crying out for each other in their daughter’s sake.

Killian’s veins felt like ice as he cried out, “No!” and suddenly he had Whale up against the wall, his hook pointed straight at the doctor’s throat. “Bring her back,” he sobbed. “Bring her back.”

“There’s nothing we can do, Killian.” Whale said, flinching as Killian reared up, only to be released as the pirate ran through the doors. He busted into the operation room just as a white sheet was being drawn over the body.

“No, no, no.” Killian groaned in agony, crumbling to his knees next to the table. He caressed Emma’s face, whispering nonsense at her still form.

“Emma,” He sobbed, closing his eyes as his world went black.

 

* * *

 

 

“Killian!”

A loud bang startled him out of his sleep. He glanced at his son quickly, assuring he was still asleep, before rising to answer the door.

“You almost woke him up!” Killian whispered harshly to Mary Margaret.

“Sorry,” She whispered back, inching into the dark apartment. “I just wanted to check on you.”

Killian sighed, running a hand through his greasy hair. “I’m fine,” he lied.

Truth is, Killian was anything but fine. His days were spent in the living room, tending to every cry and grunt his son made. He kept the door to his- no _their_ \- bedroom closed, refusing to step foot inside. The sight of Emma’s favorite red blouse- thrown onto the bed in annoyance because it didn’t fit her round stomach- and her various perfumes lined up on the dresser was enough to have Killian forbid himself from entering. He couldn’t bear the thought that her things were never going to be held by her again.

“You’re not fine.” Mary Margaret said, making her way into the kitchen. She sighed at the sink full of dirty bottles, the counters dirty with formula and leftover take-out boxes.

“So the kitchen is a little messy,” Killian said quietly. “You of all people should know things get pushed aside while caring for a baby.”

“Yes, they do.” Mary Margaret replied. “But I’m more concerned about _you_ , Killian.”

“Oh, please.” Killian groaned, rubbing his eyes with his good hand. “Can’t a man grieve in peace?”

“We are all grieving, Killian.” Mary Margaret insisted. “Emma was a kindred spirit who will always be missed. But she passed away two months ago and she would have wanted us to move on.” She moved to put a hand on his shoulder, but Killian stepped back.

“Move on?” He growled. “She shouldn’t have died! If I had any sense that night I would have murdered Doctor Whale myself.”

Mary Margaret opened her mouth to reply, but the familiar sounds of a cry came from the living room. Killian stalked away and Mary Margaret turned on the kitchen lights, determined to kick Killian out of his rut. She began cleaning the dirty bottles as Killian soothed the baby. He emerged minutes later, rocking his son in his arms.

“You don’t have to do that, you know.” Killian said softly.

“I know.” Mary Margaret said. She finished washing the bottles and set about cleaning the counters. “I need to teach you how to cook.”

Killian chuckled, shaking his head. “I’m surprised I’m not 100 pounds heavier at this point.”

Mary Margaret smiled at the sight of the father and son. “You know, it’s pretty nice outside. A walk in the park might be nice before you both go stir crazy.”

Killian frowned. A walk in the park? Babies can’t even walk.

“You have a brand new stroller over there.” Mary Margaret offered, sensing his discomfort. “Trust me, babies love walks.”

“Mary Margaret, how do you do it?” Killian asked out of the blue.

“Do what?” She questioned.

“Just… go back to your daily life?”

Mary Margaret paused, formulating a response. “You just…have to. As unfair as it seems, life goes on. The responsibilities don’t stop, even though you feel as if they should.”

Killian nodded, though still not fully convinced.

Mary Margaret held out her hands, gesturing towards her grandson. Killian offered him over carefully, aware that Mary Margaret was the only other person who has ever held his child.

“You have to be strong.” She continued, stroking the tiny puckered lips as blue eyes stared up at her in wonder. “Especially for this little guy. He deserves the world.”

“Ay,” Killian agreed. “But I don’t know if I’m prepared to just…leave her behind.”

“Oh, you don’t leave her behind, Killian.” Mary Margaret replied, shaking her head. “You keep her spirit alive. Tell him stories. Memories. Make him cherish his mother as much as you did.” She said, tears in her eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

Thirty minutes later Killian was pushing a stroller down the path in the park. It was his first time outside in weeks, and he loved watching his son stare at his surroundings in wonder. He chose a bench that was somewhat secluded, offering shade and quiet.

Killian unstrapped his son and pulled him into his arms as he sat down.

“You were named after a magnificent man,” Killian began. “He was strong, brave, and fierce. Just like you are going to have to be.” He shifted the baby so that their eyes locked.

“Liam, let me tell you a story. One night, I was in a tavern when a woman walked up to me with beautiful, long golden hair and wild blue eyes…”


End file.
